I'm 29. I just sold my company and received a low 7-figure payout — something I had worked towards for years. The next day, my remaining parent died. My other parent had already passed away a few years ago. Now, at 29, both my parents are gone. Because of the inheritance (which is larger than I expected due to how young they passed), combined with my company sale, I will likely never have to worry about money again.
Professionally, this was the greatest achievement of my life. Personally, this is the greatest loss. I have absolutely zero regrets about my relationship with my parents. They were amazing people, and we had an amazing relationship. I'm deeply grateful for that. I'm grateful, but I also feel very alone and a little lost. I’m not sure what to do next — with my time, my energy, or even with my life.
If anyone has been through something similar — or even if you haven’t — I'd appreciate any thoughts or advice. How do you figure out what's next when it feels like you’ve hit a strange high and low at the same time?
My thoughts are... know that your feelings [ALL OF THEM] are there to serve or service you. Ask your self-how does [insert feeling here] this feeling serve me? When you establish and or reestablish your truth and your feelings are in thier right place, your will see how dope you are and your endless capabilities to endure and overcome... your already doing the work. The money is a gift to choose where and how you want to manage your time; time now works for you treat it just as your feelings; how will this money service me and my dreams imagination etc? In short know you are More than enough and have something left to know and to do. This is why your asking such beautiful open question. now you must continue to show the world,so others can recall and remember thier self too, who and what you are. Thank you for helping me.
The technical term for where you've arrived at is "mid life crisis" - albeit a bit earlier than most.
Your search for success is over. So the next step becomes the search for significance.
First though, as others have said, your "what to do next" is colored by the natural grieving process you need to go through. Accept that your emotions will likely be all over the place for a while. This isn't a time for big decisions, but rather smaller, quieter, times for you to find a new simple routine.
Once your life has returned to (emotional) normal, then you can start the next chapter. Being significant means making a difference, on the people around you, on your environment, and so on.
Like with most things, there's no "quick path". You need to try this, try that, and see what sticks. Local charities are always a good place to start (they can use the help) but they may just be a stepping stone till you find your place. Interacting with youth in some way (school, church, clubs etc) can also be very inspirational (for you and for them.) Kids like to hear stories of success (they're still on that path) and hearing it from someone young - closer to their own age - really sticks.
Most of all, don't panic if you wake up tomorrow with nothing to do. You've got a long road ahead. You don't need to rush. Take some time to just settle down. Maybe go on a trip to somewhere peaceful.
Good luck.
Sorry for your loss. Hope it will get better soon.
When I lost someone, people at work felt awkward about asking about it, except for one weird guy that did a lot of charity work. Remember being super pissed at him 3 weeks after the funeral, when he said that the first year if the worst. But he was right.
I really regret not going to a psychologist. I didn't know how to explain it to the family doctor to make him send me to one (live in Norway, where taxes are insane, but if you make your case right, you get almost free medical assistance, capped at $300/y). I also didn't know it was worth it even with costs that seemed prohibitive.
It's worth knowing, that psychologists are like programmers - not everyone is good at everything.
Find a couple specializing in supporting grieving people, see at least 3 and decide which one fits you best.
Sending love, hope you get better!
You are grieving. Be patient and kind to yourself. You just experienced one of the most traumatic events in life, the death of a loved one. Let yourself grieve and ensure you get the help you need.
Find your next mission. Set up FIRE and then focus on humanitarian causes that appeal to you. Nothing better than helping others (humans, animals and nature).
Sorry for your loss. Listening to Sadhguru carried me through difficult times. Helpful, but probably not the kindest thing to hear:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIdWjMs-VYk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4SEVvTs1L0 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMQ-rJlOpSU
Condolences for your loss. It sounds like a difficult period - give yourself time to mourn. Try to fill the time with meaningful experiences - if you like dogs, go to a dog shelter, if you like hiking, go hiking. A lot of sun, sport and good company helps too. Avoid thinking about the future, work or money right now.
Find a grief support group asap, you absolutely cannot be alone through this. I'm sure there are some that meet online everyday. This is different than just therapy. I am sorry for your loss.
Take time to be lost. There is no need to rush into any projects/decisions/attitudes. What happened to you is very unusual and it'll take time to process. Time that you have.
> I have absolutely zero regrets about my relationship with my parents. They were amazing people, and we had an amazing relationship
Pay it forward, find a partner and be an amazing parent. It's not just rewarding, it's fun too!
Honestly, money can mitigate a lot of the harder parts of having kids (not getting a break, getting woken up at night when they're little babies, having to hire a babysitter if you want to see a movie at night etc).
Sorry for your loss. You might find helpful to talk walks in nature. Grief support groups are very useful. Many people also find volunteering helpful, as it involves helping people and being around people (and sometimes animals). Schedule some sort of plan for yourself with times for being social, helping people, art and being outside. Please avoid isolating yourself. Good luck.
You are mourning your parents, your company and maybe you are mourning having to work towards something, maybe even mourning the financial worry itself.
Thing with mourning is that now things seem to be over but they will start again eventually. It's all about time. Also I'm sorry you feel alone, I hope you'll find a way to manage that.
Good luck
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